Top 5 Things Introverts Dread about Church

Interesting article on what introverts dread about church, from a blog by a guy who wrote a book on the subject. Looks interesting and I can relate to a few of these!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Introvert Saturday: The Top 5 Things Introverts Dread About Church

This post comes to you from Chelsey Doring. Chelsey posted a version of this on her blog last week and I asked if I could re-post it. It nicely and humorously captures some of the first issues that introverts have with church culture, especially in an evangelical culture that emphasizes sharing and transparency.

The Top 5 Things Introverts Dread about Church

(written so extroverts may understand)

5. “Welcome! Shake a hand, give a hug, share a name!”

In every church I have attended, this has been a precursor to the beginning of the service. What I want to know is why. There is no way that anyone is going to remember anyone else’s name in the 2.7 uncomfortable seconds it takes to say, “Good morning! My name is so-and-so. God’s peace.”

And has anyone considered what that is like for people who have never stepped foot in that church, or any church at all? I’ve been in church my entire life, and this entire process ties knots in my stomach. I understand the rationale behind it (we want to be a friendly, welcoming community), but isn’t this accomplished in a less forced manner before and after the service, over donuts and coffee?

Awkward encounters are so much easier with caffeine and sugar.

It is for this reason that I really love running slides or doing some other manner of work for the church during the beginning of the service. Can’t shake your sweaty hand if mine are busy doing something else.

4. “Chelsey, what do you think?”

Okay, look. I will tell you what I think once I want to say it. Trust me, I am very opinionated. Just because I am sitting quietly in this group of people, listening to all of them talk about their lives or this Bible passage or this idea, doesn’t mean I have a rock for a brain or that I’m too scared to speak up. Or, even worse: that something is wrong with me.

The worst offenders for this one are small group leaders and youth directors. And I know that for a fact, because I am one. Take it from me: if an introvert isn’t speaking, it isn’t because nothing is going on upstairs. It’s because they’re thinking. And once they feel comfortable enough, they will share. And yeah, that might take a couple minutes. A couple weeks. Maybe even a couple months. Their silence isn’t a reflection on your leadership! Leaders like me need to be secure enough in ourselves so that we can let the silence happen. It's not "awkward" until you make it awkward.

3. “Let’s get into groups and pray aloud and/or tell each other our deepest, darkest struggles.”

At this point, you may be wondering if I actually like people. I like people. I really do.

Introverts tend to have deep relationships and friendships. They are often very few in number. Case in point: when planning our wedding, I told my husband Ted that I wanted three bridesmaids: my sister, my best friend, and his sister. He gave me his best puppy dog face and told me that he wouldn’t be able to go lower than 9 groomsmen. People just love Ted. I get it, obviously. (We ended up having 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen, and I love and cherish every single one of them.)

At the church where I work, we meet weekly to pray over the prayer requests we receive as a staff. We separate into groups of 3 to 5, go to separate corners of the church, and begin to pray over the list. I have a mini-panic attack every single time. I hope I’m adept enough to cover it. I’m probably not.

2. Spontaneous Public Prayer

If you could see into my head while I pray aloud, it would look something like this:

“Dear Jesus: I am completely blanking right now. I know that when we usually talk, the conversation never ebbs, but all these people are looking at me and listening to me and I feel like I’m naked and I’m going to hyperventilate. If you love me – no, I know you love me – please give me something intelligent to say in front of all these people. That I work with every day. Who are expecting me to form a coherent sentence. If it’s fancy and a little theological, too, that would be great. Thanks a million. Amen.”

Recently, one of the pastors at my church gave a devotion about how people pray out loud. He said that if a person asks for things that God has already promised, like his presence or his faithfulness, then it’s foolish and they probably have a pretty weak faith.

Right. As if I wasn’t already self-conscious enough.

On Jon Acuff’s post about introverts, one very well-meaning woman tried to give an introvert some advice about praying out loud:

“Sometimes I have an apprehension of going to the bathroom in public with someone who is the in the stall right next to me. Sometimes it is really hard to avoid. However, I know I have to go, so what I do is close my eyes and just go with the flow. I would say the same to you the next time you are asked to pray out loud in front of others: Just close your eyes and go with the flow. He promises that as we open our mouths he will fill it with his words. I have found this to be true not only in my life, but also in the lives of others I know.”

I'm convinced that "go with the flow" is a distinctly extroverted phrase. Also, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to use the phrase “go with the flow” again.

1. ”You should be more…”

Talkative. Friendly. Open. Or, my personal favorite: “You should be more like your sister.”

I once had a very influential camp counselor tell me that. My sister and I are very close now, and I would love to be more like her, because she is clearly cooler than I am.

When we were in high school, my sister was a beautiful, blonde, popular, fashionable, outgoing cheerleader. I was a somber, dark-haired band nerd who wore jeans and t-shirts and hated high school. Of COURSE I wanted to be more like her! Who wouldn’t?!

You would think that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to me anymore, but it does, actually. Even at 23, an age in which I am actually secure in my personality, this conversation takes place:

Me: “Yeah, I’m an introvert.”

The other person: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

-----
God has created us all so beautifully and uniquely. There is no reason to apologize for that.

I am very sure that other introverts out there have had similar experiences. Please feel free to share, because I know that I shouldn’t be so presumptuous as to speak for all introverts everywhere.

But only if you feel comfortable enough.


If you want to read more about introverts and church, check out Adam's book Introverts in the Church. 

The Gift of Being Prophetic (PJ Smyth)

The Gift of Being Prophetic

Written by  PJ Smyth

Definition

In keeping with the ‘motivational’ theme of these gifts, you will have immediately noticed that I am calling this gift ‘being prophetic’. I am not calling it either ‘the gift of prophecy’ like the one in the 1 Corinthians 12 cluster of gifts, nor ‘being a prophet’ like I will in the Ephesians 4 cluster of gifts. However, as you would imagine there is significant overlap between these three distinctions.
Prophetic people (the group that we are looking at here) will usually have the gift of prophecy, and some will mature into full-blown Ephesians 4 prophets. But – and some of you will be relieved to hear this – it is possible to be prophetically motivated but not be much inclined to bring prophetic words. For you, it is the way that you think and speak and act that is prophetic. Let’s have a look and see what I mean…

Characteristics of prophetic people

• They tend to have a very direct way of dealing with things. They tell things ‘the way they are’ and see things as right and wrong. They are outspoken. They need to speak to express what they think. They are direct, frank and don’t waste words. They are verbally motivated. E.g. John the Baptist (Mk 6:18) – he just told Herod straight!
• They are provocative. Prophets provoke us to think about things in a new way.
• They tend to be uncompromising, bold, and forthright, and are concerned about the things of God. They like to motivate people to righteousness, and can therefore make strong leaders.
• They have an intuitive sense about where people are at, and how things really are. They see through facades. “How are you?” “I’m so blessed.” “Rubbish!” They have the capacity to identify, define and hate evil. But it is righteous anger. They get angry because the person is ruining their life! They hate the devil! Sin enrages them.
• They tend to make passionate and fervent pray-ers. They have a heavy concern for the reputation of God and His agenda.
• They like to confront things and to deal with issues then and there. Unless they hear the person say, “Yes, I am wrong, you are right, I will do that,” they are not convinced! They also like to see a visible change in a person.
• This gift often works well with the gift of prophecy, discerning of spirits, and intercession.

Misunderstandings / Weaknesses

• Their frankness may be perceived as harshness, and they usually have to learn how to speak the truth in love and present truth in the most helpful possible way with minimum offense. They can come on too strong. In their passion to ‘fix it’ they sometimes struggle just to listen and express empathy.
• Their focus on right and wrong (no grey areas) may be seen as intolerant.
• They can be rather intense and often need to learn to lighten up a bit.

How can a person like this help you?

So long as you can survive what they say and how they say it, the advice they give you can help you very much indeed because they cut right to the heart of the issue.

Growing my gift

Pray for more of it. Study it. Use it. But stay accountable and work on the “in love” side of things.

Testing Prophecy (PJ Smyth)

Testing Prophecy

Written by  PJ Smyth

Do not put out the spirit’s fire. Do not treat prophecies contempt. Test everything. 1 Thes 5:19

How can we treat prophecy with contempt?

• By not bothering much with prophecy
• By listening to prophecy passively rather than engaging with it and drinking it in
• By not responding to it in faith and action

How do we test or ‘weigh’ prophecy?

Prophecy needs to be tested and weighed because due to the human element:

1. Sometimes with the best of intentions we can miss the mark.
2. Sometimes we can get the word partially correct. For example, the church in Tyre had prophesied to Paul (Acts 21:4) through the Spirit about the suffering he would undergo in Jerusalem and so those prophesying urged him as part of their prophecy not to go. This was a true prediction but a wrong conclusion and application.
3. Sometimes there can be false prophecies and prophets (Jer 29, Mt 24:24, 2 Pet 2:1).

Here are four questions to ask to help test a prophetic word:

1. Is it in line with scripture?

• If it is counter-bible then toss it out. An example would be, “God says that your current state of sin is OK, and that you can remain in adultery because he knows the pressure that you have been under, and he will make an exception for you…”
• If it is in line with Scripture, or if Scripture doesn’t address the issue, then you will move to the next question…

2. Does it settle well with my spirit? Colossians 3:15 speaks of the Holy Spirit in our hearts as an umpire who helps judge what we hear and bring a sense of either peace or unease. If in the minutes, hours and days following a prophecy over you, you get increasingly uneasy about it, then it is usually (not always) a sign that God’s spirit in you is not confirming that the prophecy was from God. Alternatively, if you find yourself getting increasingly excited about it – although you may have no idea how or when it may come to pass – then it is probably God’s spirit in you confirming that the prophecy was from God.
3. Does the counsel of respected others confirm? Don’t run around seeking the advice of many or you will just drown the voice of the Spirit. Go to one or two other mature Christian leaders or friends to ask what they think. God has ordained wisdom and protection through other people. See Gal 2:1-2 where Paul goes to those “who seemed to be leaders” to test his “revelation”. See also Proverbs 14:11.
4. Does circumstance confirm? Because God is in control of all circumstance, then if after prayer and appropriate action, the door refuses to open, then you have to conclude that the prophecy was either off the mark, or ‘not for now’. Either way, don’t despise it but rather simply say, “Well Lord, I am going to just put that prophecy aside for now confident that you will bring it to pass if it is from you”. Acts 16:7 is a great example of this: Paul felt prompted to go to Bithynia but was wrong and God closed the door….only to open a wonderful door into Macedonia.

France & Greece Election Result Analysis: The Future of Europe (BBC Podcast)

• France & Greece Election Result Analysis: The Future of Europe

  Mon, 7 May 12
  Duration:
  38 mins
  
  
  Ritula Shah presents from France, where last night Francois Hollande was elected President. We hear why in Paris, many believe relations with Germany may be key if the new President is to keep his promises of delivering change. Charlotte Ashton in Berlin finds out how much willingness there is in Germany to embrace a new direction; and Paul Moss is in Athens. Also on the programme, a look at Greece's political and economic situation.

Top 10 Most Read Books in the World Infographic (from Justin Taylor's Blog)

Top 10 Most Read Books in the World

by Jared. Browse more data visualizations.

HT: First Things

What is a Local Church (from the IX Marks Blog)

What Is a Local Church?

By Jonathan Leeman | 5.7.2012 Print

A local church is a group of Christians who regularly gather in Christ’s name to officially affirm and oversee one another’s membership in Jesus Christ and his kingdom through gospel preaching and gospel ordinances. That's a bit clunky, I know, but notice the five parts of this definition: 

• a group of Christians; 
• a regular gathering;
• a congregation-wide exercise of affirmation and oversight; 
• the purpose of officially representing Christ and his rule on earth—they gather in his name;
• the use of preaching and ordinances for these purposes.

Just as a pastor’s pronouncement transforms a man and a woman into a married couple, so the latter four bullet points transform an ordinary group of Christians spending time together at the park—presto!—into a local church.

The gathering is important for a number of reasons. One is that it’s where we Christians “go public” to declare our highest allegiance. It’s the outpost or embassy, giving a public face to our future nation. And it’s where we bow before our king, only we call it worship. The Pharaohs of the world may oppose us, but God draws his people out of the nations to worship him. He will form his mighty congregation.

The gathering is also where our king enacts his rule through preaching, the ordinances, and discipline. The gospel sermon explains the “law” of our nation. It declares the name of our king and explains the sacrifice he made to become our king. It teaches us of his ways and confronts us in our disobedience. And it assures us of his imminent return.

Through baptism and the Lord’s Supper, the church waves the flag and dons the army uniform of our nation. It makes us visible. To be baptized is to identify ourselves with the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, as well as to identify our union with Christ’s death and resurrection (Matt. 28:19; Rom. 6:3-5). To receive the Lord’s Supper is to proclaim his death and our membership in his body (1 Cor. 11:26-29; cf. Matt. 26:26-29). God wants his people to be known and marked off. He wants a line between the church and the world.

What is the local church? It’s the institution which Jesus created and authorized to pronounce the gospel of the kingdom, to affirm gospel professors, to oversee their discipleship, and to expose impostors. All this means, we don’t “join” churches like we join clubs. We submit to them.

This article is excerpted from Church Membership: How the World Knows Who Represents Jesus (Crossway).

Recommended Books for Church History and Historical Theology

From Justin Taylor's excellent blog. Historical Theology is a look at how theological doctrines have been understood throughout the ages.

Recommended Books for Church History and Historical Theology

Carl Trueman was once asked if he could recommend a couple of resources for students on church history and historical theology. He responded:

(1) The series being written by a guy named Nicholas Needham. It’s called 2,000 Years of Christ’s Power (Evangelical Press) and is proving to be a very good, comprehensive, but easy-to-read account of church history. It comes in several volumes.
(2) And the other book I recommend to students—the best single-volume on the history of theology —written by a Scandinavian Lutheran named Bengt Hägglund, titled simply, History of Theology (Concordia: 2007). It’s a single volume that takes you from the early church almost down to the present day in terms of the history of theology.
So those would be the two books I would recommend.

Needham’s 2000 Years of Christ’s Power is a projected five-volume history of the church, of which three volumes have already appeared:

• Vol. 1: Age of the Early Church Fathers [sample pages]
• Vol. 2: Middle Ages [sample pages]
• Vol 3: Renaissance and Reformation [sample pages]

A few notes about these books:
(1) They are based on excellent scholarship, but they are quite accessible.
(2) There are virtually no footnotes, except as short explanatory material—including, helpfully, pronunciation guides on ancient places, names, and events that may be unfamiliar.
(3) This is not only a comprehensive overview of historical theology, but it also contains primary source reading at the end of each chapter, so that you are not only reading about, say, the church fathers, but also sampling their actual writings.
(4) These volumes originate in the UK, and as such, they have a different aesthetic feel in terms of cover design, font choice, typsetting, etc. than you would find in the United States.
For a better overview than this, see Tony Reinke’s helpful post.
Reviewing volume 3 for Haddington House, Carl Trueman writes:

This book is the third volume in Dr Needham’s projected comprehensive history of the church from the age of the church fathers to the present day. While Dr Needham is an accomplished scholar in the fields of church history and historical theology, in these volumes he brings his learning to bear in a manner which is easily accessible to the layperson.
In a time where neither history nor the reading of books seem to be a particularly strong part of church culture, we should welcome the fact that there are books such as these which compress so much valuable information into a such a relatively short compass is to be welcomed by all who have a concern for the church’s historic heritage. . . .
In short, this book, indeed, this whole series, is well worth purchasing, reading, and inwardly digesting.